why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
