wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
you made out with another girl for some wings
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
