non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
