I want to have your abortion
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
