So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
