hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
