so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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