he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
