How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ladies don't puke and tell
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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