you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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