Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
