Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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