Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
