A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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