Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
