i think my tv is drunk
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize