Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
