i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
