woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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