So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
