just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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