he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Let's paint friendship bongs
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize