I wish my penis had an off switch
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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