i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
