I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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