what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
