If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
