She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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