here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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