You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
