Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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