Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
