why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
