we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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