I need help removing her.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Everyone says I win the strip club
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
