Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
