i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
