guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
