your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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