I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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