everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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