So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
