why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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