He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
a search helicopter?!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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