remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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