on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
