Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
