I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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