just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
