I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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