but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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