the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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