hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
