i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
