I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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