im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
