she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
