You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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