The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
