Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
