Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
When are your genitals available?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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