I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
