So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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