My brain says no but my pants say off.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize