i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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