Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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