I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i think i just lost a toe
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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