Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
