The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i need some magic done to my vagina
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
