just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
