dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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