Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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